Saturday, December 5, 2009
I find myself watching this 3 second clip over and over. Maybe because I can hear Jack's voice and he is using a word in the right context, maybe it's because he has goofy socks on and no shirt, or maybe it's because he almost hits Murphy as he swings the baseball bat around. Maybe because the baseball set was a gift from his Grandma or maybe because the summer sun is shining down. Maybe it's because this video shows Jack being a child, doing what kids do and not having a care in the world. Maybe it's because when this video was taken, we had no idea how our lives were going to change and the video is truly as innocent as it seems. After playing, we probably went inside, had dinner, had baths, read a story and tucked Jack into bed as always with the promise of a new day pending. Maybe I watch it because I want to go back to that place, a time where one of life's hardest lessons hadn't been taught yet. I feel that I am a better person because of the lesson taught but I wasn't so bad before it either. Had someone told me this summer that I only had so many days left with Jack, I never would have believed it. When I watch this video, the tears fall and all I want to do is grab him out of the screen and smother him with kisses, hear his laughter in my ear and feel him push his way out of my arms because he is a boy and has many more things to do other than be loved on by his mom. There are balls to hit, yuckies to find in the backyard and dogs to harass after all!