Monday, January 25, 2010

The Circle of Life

It's the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our peace

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

-The Lion King

If my social work training serves me correctly, it is recommended that after going through a major life change, one should wait a year before making any other significant changes. Dan and I certainly didn't follow this suggestion the year we moved to Austin and have seemed to do pretty well. Within one year we moved, got engaged, started new jobs, got married and bought a home.

I write because we aren't following it now! We have been blessed with a baby who will be joining our family on or around August 24, 2010. Exactly 11 months after the worst day of our lives. Amazing. We are 10 weeks along and all are doing great. I am weepy at times but that is to be expected. (In a way in my mind, I am 50% past, grieving and 50% future, baby. Weird. No wonder I can be a slobbering mess sometimes.) I try to figure out if it is hormones/pregnancy/grief? Who knows? It is probably a bit of both.

Of course, Dan and I are ecstatic. It happened quickly and without difficulty. Our family can grow again. Kate will have a sibling. We get to experience the miracle of life again. We get to parent a new child. I get to shop for baby clothes and beg for foot rubs from Dan. Having a baby is the only way I can get three months "off" from work (ha!).

However, this pregnancy comes with a different bag of tricks. At first I thought, "I am cheating on Jack." I asked my friend who quickly stopped me and said "Jack would want this." She is right and I haven't given it a second thought. He would want this and I would like to think that he probably had something to do with this quick development! Will we expect this child to look like Jack, act like Jack or even worse, want this child to BE Jack? I think knowing is half the battle and even being aware of the possibility of these thoughts/expectations/feelings will stop us and remind us to honor this child for the unique person they will be.

What has struck me most throughout this was my Mom saying "That you and Dan are willing to risk this love again is such a testament to you, you both, and the love you have for Jack." Yes, it certainly feels like a risk...we aren't naive enough to think that lightening can't strike twice. The odds are in our favor but how many people experience what we did? Thank goodness not many children lose their child within minutes/hours from an unknown cause? Our odds were pretty good for that too and look what happened...We still don't know what took over Jack's sweet body that fateful night. Does it cross my mind when I put Kate to bed or when I wake her in the morning that it could happen to her? Without a doubt. Do we have to worry about our genes and the genetic makeup of both Kate and this baby? Who knows? Luckily, we have competent medical professionals who are working on that piece.

The Circle of Life continues in the Turpin house and for that we are grateful. For now, we will celebrate life and all that it encompasses. The good, the bad, the ugly, the blissful moments, the breaking moments and all that comes in between.


Anne Witt said...

Congratulations, Turpin family. I am so happy for you!

Julie P. said...

Congratulations! Sure to be another G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S child! I have many memories of seeing you walk by my house in a bathing suit all super cute with a growing belly! (With Jack and Kate!) Sure to be another hot summer with plenty of pool time!

Amber said...

Congratulations, Kristen & Dan. I was actually thinking about you on my way home today - wondering when you'd get pregnant again and how hard it would be to have a boy and want him to be Jack. But I don't think you will. This baby will have their own smile and a unique personality. Your third child. Enjoy every moment.

The Chaplins said...

Kristen - ecstatic for you, Dan and Kate! So, not even two weeks after we discussed this while I was in the hospital with Ayla and Evie!?!?! This made my night. Sending my love - xoxo

The Lunoff Adventures said...

Sqeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Another reason to eat Tiff's Treats without guilt or reservation! I can't wait to do some newborn shopping!!! Congrats to you and Dan. You're circle continues to grow.

amy kelly said...

congratulations!! may i please have the honor of being your nurse again?! one more question...will you let me know when you have your blog published? what a great book it would be!!

The Welch's said...

Congrats my dear friend! I'm so glad the news is out and now everyone can celebrate with you. I can't wait for our bellies to grow together!

Marita said...

OH. MY. GOSHHHH!!!! Hooray!! this is such a blessing, and I am simply thrilled for you, Kristen! Oh my, I'm just smiling ear to ear. This is great news, congratulations. How special.

jessica holland said...

wonderful news, I am so happy for you. I hope it is an easy pregnancy for you. I'll pencil you in for some more "new mama enchiladas" in August!

natalie said...

Congratulations! Thinking of you, and sending my love...

Anonymous said...

Congrats to you,Dan & Kate
I read your blog often and after all these years you still inspire me to see the positive in all things. Lucky kiddos to have such an amazing Mommy!

Douglass said...

congratulations, mama!!!
so excited for you guys! i hope to see that super cute belly this summer when we come back for a visit! i have yet to meet baby kate! she was in your belly the last time we were hanging out at the pool. how long have i been gone? feels like forever!!! can't wait to see you guys!

Franklin and Lisa Spees said...

Congrats Turpin Family.... Jack is a very proud big brother. Smiling from above for sure!

iheartdesign said...

YEAH!!!! are we celebrating this week? I would LOOOOOVE to see you!