Thursday, November 5, 2009
A loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter
They say grief is like an unwelcome and unexpected guest...it shows up when you least expect it and you don't know how long it is going to stay. Today I went grocery shopping for the first time since before "that day." (Yes, everything has become a "before" and an "after.") We had reached rock bottom when we couldn't even make brownies because we didn't have eggs and I heard my bones pleading for calcium.
Who knew that "grief" would show up while in the supermarket?? I never realized how my grocery shopping was so Jack focused...bananas and yogurt for smoothies, peanut butter, whole milk, turkey meat, cheese, chicken nuggets, et cetera. It seemed every corner I turned, I wanted to put a different item in the cart and then realized I didn't need it. It made me miss him so much and I almost felt lost trying to figure out what we needed. You may be wondering how I was able to avoid the store for so long...our wonderful friends and neighbors have brought us meals EVERYDAY since "that day." It has been unbelievable and we have been SO spoiled with all the tasty dishes, we received our last one tonight, thanks so much everyone!
I knew it was such a gift to receive home cooked meals but the added treat and unexpected present from it all was giving me time to be in a better place. You wouldn't think that even the most mundane of errands could grudge up sadness but it did. Thank goodness I didn't have to go weeks ago. While I wait for Kate to be able to eat all that stuff, I think I'll spend the money on pints of Ben and Jerry's for me and Dan. Sounds like a good plan to me!